Leadership = Influence

Recently I have been doing quite a bit of “unfettering” in the area of leadership. The simple definition of leadership that I have clung to for years is … the ability to influence others to do great things. Breaking this down, what I love so much about this definition is … … the focus on ABILITY vs. title, possessions, power, compensation, rank, and so forth. And what is cool about that is everyone has ability. It is inside each one of us. Thus, we are all leaders because we all have the ability to influence.

… the emphasis on INFLUENCE. Leadership is an everyday experience because every day we are placed in situations where we are influencing others (intentionally and unintentionally). At work, at home, at the store, on the phone, waiting in line, driving in traffic, interacting with people. With our spouse, our children, our parents, our customers, our co-workers. A great story about Everyday Leadership is a TED Talk by Drew Dudley who shares what is a “lollipop moment” as it applies to leadership. Let’s don’t make leadership something so big that we are afraid of it or don’t believe it applies to us … leadership / influence is an every day opportunity.

… the priority on OTHERS. Leadership is primarily about serving others — not elevating one’s self. One can only lead to the extent one is willing to serve.

… the quest for GREAT things. Leadership and influence can be used for bad things, minor things, mediocre things, the ordinary, the normal. No … let’s use our influence to spark others to achieve greatness.

A passage from the book “Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson inspires all of us to lead and influence …

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

No Hero Without a Mission

Ever notice that heroes always have a mission? Without a mission, there simply is no hero. In comic books and superhero movies the mission often involves “saving the world” or “saving millions of lives from disaster” or some other dramatic quest. Businesses and organizations often have mission statements that ideally translate into “missions” that drive and influence day-to-day behaviors and choices. Heroes in organizations are those that significantly advance the mission. Steve Jobs, Cheryl Bachelder, Jeff Bezos, Sir Richard Branson, Ewing Kaufmann might be good examples.

Then there are heroes that have a national mission such as our military veterans, Presidents (e.g, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy), Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Ghandi.

We have religious heroes who advance and defend their faith — the saints, the Pope, Billy Graham, pastors.

Parents and grandparents theoretically have a mission related to raising their children. If done well they are viewed as heroes. “My mom is my hero.” “My dad is my hero.”

Who are your heroes? What was or is their mission? More significant … WHAT IS YOUR MISSION?

Define and state your mission … and BE A HERO!

Problem vs. Tension

Admit it. We feel better when we are solving problems, fixing things, repairing stuff, or creating something new. As business owners / leaders we pride ourselves based on DOING. We are not fond of unresolved issues lingering around much. Yet, not all “issues” may be meant to be solved! In fact, solving an issue may generate more problems and unwanted side effects. So it is important to distinguish between a problem to solve or a tension to manage. For leaders, we are tempted to solve things or do things ourselves when those we serve come to us and interrupt our work. By “solving” this problem by making ourselves less accessible, the message sent could be we are unapproachable, we do not care, and so forth. Other common dilemmas … customizing / tailoring our products and services to our clients / customers vs. developing efficiencies by systematizing our deliverables, attracting the best talent vs. managing costs, being flexible and understanding vs. holding people accountable and managing performance.

Similarly, as parents we might lean into the urge to do or fix things for our children, rather than allowing them to struggle and make mistakes. Seeing these situations a problems to solve, we hinder growth and development.

The alternative is reframing these situations as tensions to manage. It is embracing the dissonance and friction and polarity that enables us to look beyond the current issue. Reframing prompts us to rephrase the question from focusing on the problem (e.g., How can I fix this?) to focusing on the tension (e.g., How can I do this AND this?). This is similar to polarity thinking which shifts the perspective from either / or (problem) to both / and (tension). What is the upside of each position? What is the downside? How do we access the best of both while avoiding as much of the negative as possible?

To aid ourselves in determining if we have a tension to manage or a problem to solve consider the following …

• Balance. Are there valid positions on both sides of the issue?

• Risk. If you solve this issue, is there an apparent risk? What’s at stake … short-term and long-term?

• Creativity. By seeing this issue as a tension with two or more sides, is creativity sparked?

A final thought … when dealing with people and relationships, we are instructed to “love one another.” Thus, our default position and starting point with human beings — who are made in the image and likeness of God — is LOVE. And LOVE may be the ultimate tension to manage!

Knowing Before Fixing

“You can’t repair something if you don’t know how it works.” These words of wisdom were shared by a city maintenance supervisor at a recent leadership class I delivered. We were discussing the characteristics of great leadership.

Not being gifted with much talent at all for fixing or maintaining things, I realized this simple practical statement ascends beyond “things” and also is true for people and relationships. Stephen Covey made famous the habit of “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” The intention is similar … if I want to improve, fix, change, understand, alter, positively impact someone or something — it requires knowing how he/she/it works first! And knowing how someone or something works demands study, observation, learning, and analysis — it calls for investing time with the “owners manual” for that person or thing first, prior to getting out the toolbox and “fixing.”

Apprentice Learning

“Outer learning” is learning about, while “inner learning” is learning from. The former is academic, the latter apprentice learning. In terms of our spiritual journey, this is what Jesus wants. Academic learning may produce theologians who know about God, but only apprentice learning will produce people who actually come to know God: i.e., disciples. (Fr. Anthony Gittins)

I advocate that this same principle applies to our professional and personal lives as well. I look in the mirror and am overwhelmed at how much time I devote to “outer learning” — learning ABOUT people and things. While my knowledge certainly increases, there is still a distance. I realize that I am not fully engaged or completely invested. I am holding back. I am not ALL-IN.

Similarly, as leaders with the function of serving and influencing others, do we simply satisfy ourselves with learning ABOUT our employees, customers, associates, children? Or do we go deeper and learn FROM them.

If we consider “inner learning” and learning FROM people and things, I sense and experience transformation and connection. By definition, the learning is internalized and altering. And the results are different!