The book arrived on my doorstep unrequested. It was going to go in the “TO READ” pile that never actually gets read. There was one show stopper, however. It contained a note from a dear friend. He was endorsing a book by his friend Jay Stringer. The book was entitled, Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing.
As a psychotherapist and ordained minister, Jay had done groundbreaking research on 3,800 people about their unwanted sexual behavior. I was intrigued. The world is telling us to put blocking software on your computer and pray hard to rid yourself of unwanted sexual behavior. Make no mistake, both of those actions are good ones, however, Jay was saying something new, something different.
He said our unwanted sexual behavior leaves clues like breadcrumbs in a mystery novel that lead to the secret of unlocking years of pain. This was no “writer’s opinion” of how to avoid things like unwanted pornography viewing, buying sex, visiting massage parlors or affairs. This was a solution based in clinical research. Jay shared how we get to this place of pain, why we stay there and how we can get out of the mess. I was ready to dive in.
I called Jay out of the blue,
ME: You don’t know me but I got your book from our mutual friend, Bruce McNicol, President of Trueface Ministry.
JAY: Nice to meet you, Greg!
… After some pleasant conversation…
ME: I was wondering if there was a correlation between your research of unwanted sexual behavior and the power of a leader to do what they want when they want to? It seems the work world is rampant with leaders abusing their power over people in sexual ways.
JAY: Yes there is! Leaders and their abuse of power can make everything even more pervasive and rampant.
ME: Would you be open to doing a video podcast about this to share the secrets you’ve learned in your research?
JAY: Of course!
The result is here now for you to take in. Jay and I met in Seattle and filmed something that could release you from the grip of unwanted sexual behavior. I asked Jay what happens when we mix the power of the leader’s role with unwanted sexual behavior. Leaders are at times fighting loneliness, anxiety, complexity, overload, decision fatigue, and multiple pressures. They can create “alone spaces”, feel entitled to a reward, know that almost anything can be theirs or feel they deserve a break.
Oddly enough, Jay shares in the interview we had that lack of purpose can lead to sexual failure. There’s been failure at the C-Suite, the White House, the Hollywood casting couch, the sports world and our own living rooms in the dark of night when no one is watching. It can rip your relationships to shreds in a moment and make you feel at loss as you try to wash away the shame.
Turns out there’s a solution to all this shame and pain. Jay shares the strategy for confronting unwanted sexual brokenness, and has a plan for a pathway to wholeness. Listen in:
Jay will be sharing live and taking audience questions at Leadership Collab 2019 in San Diego, California.
About the Author
Greg Leith is the CEO of Convene. He was born in Canada and lived in all four corners of North America. His career spans over 35 years of senior leadership roles in corporate, non-profit and academic sectors. Recently, he served as Director of Strategic Alliances for 13 years at Biola University in California.