ClickCease

Leadership

Leadership Restraint: The Power in Holding Back

Restraint. Likely a concept that awakens some kind of emotions or recollection of experiences for any leader. A quick scan of the news produces ample example of what happens when a leader lacks self-control, but what happens when we harness for success? Successful leaders are well accustomed with the need to push, drive, persevere, and muster. But how many of us calibrate intention, goals, and achievement through restraint? Let's explore what happens when great leaders "restrain to succeed."

1. Leaders control the desire to do it all. Maybe you could do it better, maybe not, but empowering someone else to try increases buy-in, which increases team ownership and responsibility. Good leaders are responsible. Great leaders posses the courage to give responsibility away.

And this doesn't only apply to tasks. Conversation and presence are often some of the most difficult points to entrust. Restrained leaders don't always need to have the last word. Asking a question such as, "What are your final thoughts as we conclude our time today?" leaves space for people to grow. Whether it is letting silence linger in conversation, or letting gaps linger in the company, give people the opportunity to fill space. They may surprise you with what they do with that space.

2. Leaders leave people wanting more. Good negotiators know that we are all attracted to suspense. Whether negotiating, leading a meeting, or addressing a situation, give quality of voice rather than quantity. Few, select insights leave a far greater impression than countless weightless interjections. Anyone can talk a lot but not say much. Be the kind of person who makes people hungry to listen when you open your mouth.

When you do speak up, curb the desire to show all of your cards. After placing something on the table, let it lie for a bit. Don't succumb to the desire to establish authority by saying everything you know. This stunts valuable input from others, and minimizes opportunity to clarify or adapt. Restraint opens the door to what a leader "didn't know that they didn't know," and creates space to come back later to qualify things with words and actions.

3. Leaders stay focused. When high-level performers are focused, they know the difference between what is important and what is critical. Most C-level executives have agendas and conversations crowded with "important." Walk in to meetings knowing what is critical and refrain from jumping in to distractions that, while they are important, could be handled by someone else. Staying focused also means knowing your walk-away point. In negotiating, in business relationships, even in life...know how far you are prepared to take the conversation, where you are willing to compromise, and when it is time you walk away.

In conclusion, there are many voices telling us "more is more." However, when it comes to seeing the people around us thrive, strategic leadership restraint shows us that contributing less often ends up returning more.

---

If you enjoyed this article about learning the power of restraint, you'll enjoy hearing from Cheryl at our live learning venue even more! She will be speaking at the Leadership Summit this May, where we'll discuss this topic and much more. Join hundreds of leaders learning together how to operate their company well, all on a biblical platform at the Leadership Summit 2017 in Hilton Head, SC.

Can't make the Summit but crave more learning? Tune in to our Convene online leadership learning portal!

If God made your people creative, why are you still deciding everything?

If God made your people creative, why are you still deciding everything?

Does God speak to your team members or just to you? I think we all believe He speaks to everyone, but if that’s the case, why are you still deciding everything at your company? In other words, does the brochure REALLY have to be the size and color you want? Or can your team member decide the size and color? After all, God made them creative too! He made them in His image, he gave them natural talents, he gave them spiritual gifts….and he wants them to use them, so why not let them?

Can a Christian-led business Be A Toxic Workplace?

In our book, Rising Above a Toxic Workplace, we surveyed hundreds of employees (and leaders) from a wide range of industries and sectors.  We then individually interviewed dozens whose stories intrigued us.  From our research we discovered the core components that contribute to making a workplace “toxic” – a work environment that is unhealthy, and even dangerous, to the well-being of its employees. When a workplace is toxic, over time its employees experience an increase in physical symptoms – weight gain, loss of sleep, high blood pressure, and overall, the rate of other medical issues spiral up.  Similarly, on the emotional side, team members who work within a poisonous environment become more irritable and angry, agitated, discouraged, anxious and depressed.  Higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse occur, which in turn increases the absentee and tardiness rates of the employees.

The 3 Core Conditions to Create Toxic Work Environments

We found that the most toxic organizations had the trifecta of three problem areas that, when combined, made the workplace incredibly unhealthy, unpleasant, and even dangerous to the well-being of those who work there.

Dysfunctional Employees

When we use the term “dysfunctional”, we are being descriptive versus just putting a condescending label on people.  “Dys” means ‘problem’, and dysfunctional people have serious difficulties in functioning in daily life. Being “dysfunctional” can express itself in a variety of ways (and this list isn’t exhaustive).  A person may have repetitive problems in maintaining relationships.  They may not be able to manage their financial life, always spending more than they make.  Some may not be able to move forward in their career (or even hold a job) because of difficulties in coming to work regularly, on time, and completing tasks in the timeframe given.  Drug and alcohol abuse and problems controlling one’s temper are dysfunctional patterns.

Regardless of how they are exhibited in daily life, dysfunctional individuals display similar patterns of behavior.  Dysfunctional employees tend to blame others and make excuses, rarely accepting responsibility for their actions.  They withhold or distort information and communicate indirectly through others.   These individuals usually have a sense of entitlement, believing they should receive raises and promotion in spite of their inconsistent performance.  And they are masters of creating conflict and tension within the workplace.

How do you successfully manage dysfunctional employees?   First, accept that you cannot change the other person.  Then set boundaries about what you are and are not willing to do to deal with problems created. (Sometimes people must experience the consequences of their choices in order to learn.)  Finally, talk with and get support from others whom you believe are functional.

Poor Policies and Procedures

One of the core elements of a toxic workplace is that it has significant problems in the area of poor policies and procedures.  Foundationally, the workplace can feel like some combination of chaos, incompetence or anarchy.  How anything ever gets done can seem to be a mystery.

Interestingly, there are different types of problems with policies and procedures.  Some organizations have incredibly poor communication.  Communication between departments is sporadic and incomplete, and often the information people need to know in order to make good decisions isn’t readily available.  A second variation is when there are no written, standardized ways of doing things (or the written version is so old, it is no longer applicable).  Some technical experts dismiss the concern with “No worries. It’s in our heads” and this becomes a platform for control or blackmail.  The third common expression of problems in procedures and policies is when people “go around” the policies that exist.  The policies are there; it is just that no one follows them.

When a company has serious problems in this area, they severely limit the company’s ability to grow, train new employees effectively, and the management has no clue what it actually costs to produce their products or provide specific services.  Rarely will an organization like this last much beyond the lifespan of its key leader (who often is very talented and carries the organization on their shoulders.)

Toxic leaders                                                                          

The presence of one or more toxic leaders creates serious wounds in an organization.

Although hopefully you aren’t a toxic leader, you may have unhealthy leaders within your organization.  It is important to note that a toxic leader doesn’t have to be at the top tier of the organization. We have observed that a toxic leader often may be a long-term employee who “grew up” with the business (and may be a long-term friend of the founder), and they are now in a position where they are way over their heads in the ability to manage and lead those around them.  As a result, they often become managers that others have to “work around” in order to get things done correctly.

We identified ten common characteristics of toxic leaders.  It is important to understand that not all toxic leaders display all of the characteristics, but they typically display several in how they relate to others.  We believe it is important to differentiate between toxic leaders and incompetent leaders.  Unfortunately, there appear to be plenty of incompetent leaders, especially when you examine the leadership throughout an organization (managers, department heads, and front-line supervisors).  Incompetent leaders either haven’t been trained well, or have been promoted above their skill level – but in either case, they tend to not be effective in leading others.

Toxic leaders, on the other hand, may be very competent and skilled leaders (in a technical sense) but their motives are impure.  They essentially are totally focused on their interests and achievement, and will use others to get what they want.

Top Ten Characteristics of a Toxic Leader

1.     They look good (at least, initially).

2.     They’re extreme about achieving goals.

3.     They’re manipulative.

4.     They’re narcissistic.

5.     They steal the credit for others’ successes.

6.     They’re condescending.

7.     They’re inauthentic.

8.     They use others.

9.     They won’t address real risks.

10.  Before things fall apart, they leave.

How do you tell if a leader is toxic?  First, look for an exodus (sometimes, over time) of previously solid, reliable employees.  When good people are leaving, look for the rat.  Secondly, pay attention to your own sense (or a trusted colleague) of “something doesn’t seem right”.  Toxic leaders often present well initially, and sometimes too well.  But eventually the facts don’t add up – reports you hear from reliable employees don’t match what the leader is reporting.  Do not dismiss or ignore these subtle signs!  They may be an early warning signal to investigate more closely.

What can be done with toxic leaders?  Truly toxic leaders don’t change. Don’t expect them to (although they may feign commitment to do so.)  First, do damage control.  Protect yourself and the organization. Then, develop an exit plan for them as soon as you can.  Any other action is a waste of time and increases your risk for serious damage.

Warning                                                                                           

One caution should be noted:  Do not assume your organization is immune to the problems discussed above, even if your company is founded on Christian principles. One only has to read the news to see that there are many examples of Christian-led businesses and churches collapsing due to a toxic atmosphere or leader.

Conclusion      

Toxic workplaces exist in every sector of the marketplace (unfortunately, including ministry). Since organizations are comprised of individuals who have weaknesses, deficits, and areas for growth, every company is at risk for developing unhealthy patterns of behavior.  Fortunately, if the remaining leaders are able to identify core issues that led to “un-health”, it’s possible to take steps (both individually and corporately) to address the problem behaviors and become healthy again.

Corporate vs Kingdom Philanthropy

Corporate vs Kingdom Philanthropy

But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.                                                                                                             - Luke 12:48

How can we leverage corporate social responsibility for the Highest good?  How do we extend our philanthropic initiatives from merely building up a company to building up the Kingdom of God?  How do we pursue Kingdom philanthropy?

Donald, Hillary or You?

When the dust settles on the last television newscast and Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump is declared the next President of these United States, you’ll still be leading your firm. Your team members will still come to work the day after the winner is declared. They’ll be looking to you for leadership, for a paycheck, for a community. Guess what they want most and what they will be looking to you to deliver? It’s meaning. That meaning they’re looking for begins with you and your leadership. To be sure, what Washington, D.C. does actually affect your business significantly but the President of the United States does not lead your firm. You do. It’s an enterprise entrusted to you to lead. It’s a place where people look to you for answers, where people want to be part of a team that cares about them and where people want to be valued, appreciated and loved. The next President of the country will not show up this week at your office to encourage your team, fix a broken piece of equipment, hire the next team member or re-cast your mission and vision statement.

If I had some private time with you at your local coffee shop I might ask you this. Is there a soul in your firm? Is it a place where people can find themselves? Is it a place where people are loved? Do you just make things and deliver services or do you make people and deliver human flourishing such that you pull back the curtains on the meaning and purpose of life? How do you become a meaning maker? Or are you just a profit taker?

David Ulrich, one of the top 10 most innovative and creative thinkers in the world, interviewed thousands of workers, managers and leaders. He concludes that it’s not just about profit, purpose, procedures, product…it’s PEOPLE! Ulrich reminds us that we lead businesses where people come to find meaning.

According to Dr. Ulrich’s multi-year studies, “We all work for the same thing—and it’s not just money. It’s meaning. Through our work, we seek a sense of purpose, contribution, connection, value, and hope. When we achieve meaning through our work, we succeed beyond our wildest dreams.”

Ulrich goes on to say, “Employees who find meaning at work will have a better work experience that will translate into improved performance, more satisfied customers, and more profitable companies.”

Ah! There it is! If you as a leader deliver meaning, there IS a connection to performance and profit!

Writer and theologian Dorothy Sayers writes that “work is not, primarily, a thing one does to live, but the thing one lives to do. It is, or should be, the full expression of the worker’s faculties, the thing in which he finds spiritual, mental, and bodily satisfaction, and the medium in which he offers himself to God.”

The Bible, the best leadership book in the world, tells us we have a number of leadership roles. If you’re a Christian, overall, you’re an AMBASSADOR: you represent your faith in the marketplace. You’re also called a SOLDIER. Are you strategizing for your day like it’s a battle? Are you willing to fight and endure hardship as you represent your faith? Next, God reminds you to be diligent like a FARMER. Are you willing to work hard on your business or have you maybe settled into autopilot? Next, you’re to be disciplined like an ATHLETE, willing to train hard and win. Finally, the surprise trait. Ready for it? Are you tender and kind and loving like a NURSING MOTHER, willing to nourish, cherish your team members? God reminds us that tenderness is also a leadership trait.

Well, before the coffee gets cold and we have to run to our next meeting, may I ask you one last question? How will you steward those roles God has placed you in and lead with intentionality at your firm? You’re not just an ATM machine to send money to missions. Your firm does not just exist to tell the Good News to people in foreign countries. Could it be time to turn around and see the people standing behind you that you lead? They need to hear God’s Good News too!

You may not be the President of the USA, but you are leading your firm. No matter who is President of the country, God is still in charge the trajectory of the world. His purposes will evolve on his timetable and over thousands of years they have never depended on the current leader acting a certain way. God uses good and bad leaders to accomplish his ultimate plans and he influences the hearts of leaders. However, God has placed you where you are as a leader of your firm and he wants you to lead. So let’s call the election right now. You win! You’re in charge of your firm! Begin leading your firm with deep purpose under God’s plan and power today. Suit up and embrace the roles of ambassador, soldier, farmer, athlete and nursing mother. If you and other business leaders across America stand up and grasp our roles with strong intentionality, we can make a difference in our companies, our counties, our country and the world where God has placed us.