Leading Your Family While Building Your Business

Ideas to Bless Your Family

Which is easier for you…planning for your company’s success or your family’s success?

While building an excellent company and ministering to our people through business is a high calling from God with much responsibility, our family is our primary ministry.

The Temptation to Cheat our Family

No matter how effective we may be as business leaders, we’re all replaceable there. However, we’re the only spouse and father or mother in our family. While we may want to delegate the burdens of leading a family sometimes, that’s not an option if we’re to honor God and position our family for generations of success.

God calls us to love our spouse, and parent our kids according to His ways. We’re to be full of grace and truth as Jesus was – not easy when we have seemingly endless things to accomplish at work. It’s tempting to pour ourselves out all day, then come home with barely anything left to give. Strange isn’t it…we can end up giving the least of ourselves to the people we love the most. Can you relate?

Models Help Us Succeed

For the Christian CEO, president or business owner, our calling from God includes the parallel priorities of running a successful business, leading a healthy family, and having a significant Kingdom impact. It’s easy to over-emphasize one to the detriment of the others, but we can be faithful in all three, through our relationship with Jesus and the help of His people.

To do so, we’re to be as intentional about investing in our families’ health as we are in business success. Many people have never seen such parallel priorities modeled or had a support system to encourage them. Not having good models to learn from can leave us doing unhealthy things we had modeled for us early in life – to the detriment of our family, both now and future generations.

Have you found others to model for you how to successfully lead a healthy family, build an excellent business and have a great Kingdom impact in the process?

Simple Ideas to Help You Lead a Healthy Family

Like healthy businesses, health family life doesn't just happen. While the list below isn't meant to be comprehensive, these ideas have helped many Convene members improve their marriage and parenting. Make a note of any you may want to implement.

Include your spouse and children (of all ages) in setting your annual goals. Sitting the family down when all are well fed and rested to discuss long-term dreams and family goals will increase their ownership in the family.

For example:
- Look for areas of passion that may be God-given and then help them pursue those passions.

- Have a discussion about a family mission trip and what organizations or people they feel led to financially support.

- Talk about your financial stewardship—how much should be spent for essentials, including recreation and giving to God’s work.

- Draw up a family budget and manage accordingly.

- Do a monthly assessment of spending; it can be a great teaching opportunity regarding self discipline and deferred gratification.

One wife at a couple’s retreat shared that while she did not care much about money (and by most standards they’re a high net worth family) but she was overwhelmed with joy that her husband had actually sat down with her and asked her opinion about how they should spend their money. She felt valued and included for the first time in over three decades of marriage.

Expect differences of opinion but, with prayer and a caring ear, you’ll be building godly character in your kids.

Spend time monthly discussing how family members are doing. This relational checkup is just as important as seeing how your direct reports are doing, or reviewing key indicators and financials in the business.

Spend a little time planning how to demonstrate that your loved ones are important. Get coaching and accountability from someone who'll help with ideas, accept you when you fall short, and encourage you to keep improving.

Take time daily to communicate with each family member. One may prefer a phone call, and another a text message. Leave a love note on the kitchen sink, bathroom counter or in the car.

Make sure they know you love them, accept them, and they’re important in your life. It needn't be long or time consuming. Tell them how important they are, just as you tell your staff and customers how much you appreciate them.

Pray often with your spouse to draw close to God and each other. Pray frequently as a family and model what it means to be a person seeking an authentic and growing relationship with Jesus.

Ask your kids significant questions, not trite, controlling ones; otherwise, they’ll get conditioned to not want to talk. Probing questions can ignite a good discussion. For example, ask: “What do you think about…” or “What do you predict will happen when…?”

· Ask your kids for their advice. No matter their age, seeking their advice shows you value them, creates connection and probably gives you a different and valuable perspective to consider.

· Take a walk with your spouse after dinner and inquire about his or her day. It’s much easier to walk and talk than to sit and stare. Walking eliminates body language and you’ll probably get more mileage from the discussion than from the feet. A healthy marriage is perhaps the best gift we can give our kids…and it helps us succeed in business and other relationships!

Come home refreshed. While you spend many hours engaged in important activities at work, don’t come home “spent.” How would you like to receive a grumpy, demanding and haggard person every day?

- Parcel out your energy and don’t leave it all at the office. Your family need and want an energetic person to engage with. They need the best part of your head, heart and soul and they’ll probably never fully understand the level of activity you engage in at work.

- Take time to unwind on the way home and prepare for an engaging evening, by transitioning from your role as owner to spouse and parent. Keep the evening news and cell phone off and instead enjoy a time of prayer. Perhaps listen to some worship or uplifting music, a favorite sermon or a challenging audio book.

- Consider how you enter the home. If you need some recovery time, find something that energizes you, not zaps your energy like watching the evening news. “Escape” activities rarely engage the mind, heart, or soul, and these important three parts of us are needed in the evening.
  
  Spend some time in worship and be refreshed. Jesus is our example. He invites us, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Even though it sounds contradictory, leaders must exercise regularly to keep their bodies and minds fresh and alive. Do you need additional accountability to get to the level of physical health you desire? If so, humble yourself and get the help.

A side note, please remember that your kids and spouse are not your employees. Some business people are so conditioned from the pressure of the office that they forget they’re not at work. Take time to decompress and be the family's great and inspiring leader, not its boss.

These and other worthy family activities will enhance the likelihood of coming home to a healthy family. Beyond that, the joy, gratitude, and deep blessing you experience of a close family growing in the Lord will overflow into your business and help you lead more effectively there. It’s a win-win-win: your family, the business and God’s Kingdom.

May you have a close, abiding relationship with the Lord as He refreshes and works through you to lead a healthy family, build a significant business, and impact His Kingdom along the way.

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